What I learned ...how lucky I am

So what did I do while I was home with my parents? absolutley nothing. No running around, trying to cram all sorts of events and chores into a few days...we sat in the backyard, with the umbrella up on the table, and moved the chairs around in the grass, staying in the shade, eating crackers and trying to catch the breeze. Also keeping one eye on Mr Thrash, who was doing what terriers do best digging, running around the yard in total wig out, trying to eat bugs and then just plopping down in the grass.

Dad is so frail and thin..a shadow of his former self who now can't muster the stamina to play golf, his passion. He needs oxygen on occasion, and has the set up for night time and a portable tank. I see it every time I go up there, but each time is a shock. Yet his hand grip is still as strong as ever, but yet he can't seem to do the simplest things. This has lead to total frustration and being depressed that he can't do much. And Mom, for all her super type A 'ness, and hyperness, still has the energy she always had...constantly thinking and doing. The stamina isn't there anymore, but she gets it done. She's as protective as ever of Dad - like a Lion of her cubs. It's always been that way, and it always will.

Dad's meds make his moods swing as well....but what I realized I inherited from Dad is his passion of things, the need to hug and hold and show love, my love of sports, ptiching hardball in the back yard and throwing it at each other so hard it was dangerous but ending up in stitches laughing, my hot Italian temper, loyalty, laughing, pranks, and the need to tell those close to me that I love them...and the need to keep telling them, trying to find that tangible piece of love in your soul and give it to thos , holding

Mom gave me the need to organize, the companionship and love for an only child with afters chool cookies and games when homework was done, spoiling me, trying to teach me to sew and letting the idea go after a few years, the need to look at everything and every option to a fault before making a decision, along with Dad let me explore any sport or activity that peaked my interest, walking every where together since she didn't drive, encouraged my art by buying me a Flair majic marker every week till I had all the colors....and proud of me in all that I did and do, but just can't quite say it that much.

Mom and Dad only had one - and that's me. They wanted a little girl. I turned out to be a tomboy. But in a rare peek into her deepest thoughts, my Mom said : " we got the best of both - I got my little girl [ and yes I did those mom and daughter stuff] and Dad got his playmate, a tomboy to share his love of sports with". I guess I thought I would have forever and I have realized over the past few years I don't - but this past weekend I brought some rays of sunshine to Long Island..and yes , that is "Lang Isssslllannnnd"